I have an important announcement to make. After much thought, I have decided to divorce my body. This day has been coming for more than ten years, but I have been in denial about exactly how much our relationship had deteriorated. Now, however, I have contacted a lawyer to begin the proceedings. It’s over.
To be sure, my body and I have not been getting along for a very long time. He is abusive to me, causing raging pain in my neck and constant headaches every day. We argue constantly, even on vacation. I have been brought to tears in public on numerous occasions because of his abuse, after which he won’t even put an arm around me to comfort me. He just sits, laughs, and continues carrying out his rampage through my body. We’ve tried couples therapy with many different doctors, and all would be fine while we were in the presence of the doctor. My body would agree to the treatment plan and say he would do whatever was necessary to stay together. Then we would pull out of the parking lot and the pain would actually be worse, probably just to get back at me for the cost of therapy. He’s so passive-aggressive.
He’s also a control freak. I wanted to go on vacation and have a nice time. No pounding on the sides of my head, no seizing up of my neck muscles, no being constantly tethered to my heating pad. I told pain we were going to have a relaxing vacation. I told him he really needed to chill out. But, no, he had to be in complete control. And when he is in control, I am abused. This has to end.
Dividing up our assets should not be a problem. I just want him to leave. He can take the heating pad, and all the meds, and my next five medical appointments. I don’t want any of it. I want him to pack everything up and leave here as soon as possible. I won’t miss him a bit. I probably won’t even wave goodbye.