Spirited Encounter

I recently visited my parents' grave for the first time since we buried my mom. After the visit, I was lying in bed thinking about writing a blog post about that first visit. I fell asleep that night pondering my feelings about that visit and how I would present it in this blog. I did... Continue Reading →

Babies: To Have or Have Not

I’ve been surrounded by talk of babies lately. A couple readies themselves for the arrival of triplets. Another couple is in disagreement about whether to have a child. I am seated at a baby shower with two other women who talk of nothing but what their fully grown babies are doing. I listen attentively to... Continue Reading →

The Empty Chair

Recently we visited the assisted-living facility where my mother spent the last 15 months of her life. We went for an Alzheimer’s fundraiser in the form of a car show, and as we walked around for two hours, those 15 months reappeared as if by slight of hand, memory after memory leaning against vintage vehicles... Continue Reading →

Visit in My Mind

In my mind, I can see and feel it as clearly as my present reality of cursor blinking, coffee brewing, head pounding. We have driven for an hour and a half to get here. Bill makes the right turn onto their driveway and as we drive down the steep gravel, the garage door is already... Continue Reading →

Comparatively Sick

Thirteen days ago, Bill and I were on our way home from a 19-day adventure in Maine. We had stayed in three different spots along the coast of Maine, made a pilgrimage to L.L. Bean, and traveled up into the rugged wilderness of Moosehead Lake. The trip was beautiful as only Maine can be, and... Continue Reading →

Love Can Never Disappoint

The day I truly became an adult I was 51 years old, walking with crutches as a bulky, heavily Velcoed boot covered my left foot. I was sitting with my father in Room 206 of a nursing facility in Liberty, New York on an icy-cold January day. One generally thinks of adulthood as arriving with... Continue Reading →

My First Graveside Chat

I stride toward the stone with purpose. I have not been here in a while--fifteen months, to be exact--but now I'm on a mission. My husband and I both admire the stone--a simple monument that would have been met with approval by both parties. We wipe away some lawn clippings, then he leaves and I... Continue Reading →

On the Edge

I have been running through this wooded area for years. Ten years to be precise. It’s dark and frightening and the pain I feel is relentless. Yet I run. There is no one in front of me, no one behind me, no one beside me. No one. So I continue to run alone. Occasionally there... Continue Reading →

Me, Myself, and Matryoshka

When we visited Russia several years ago, we bought an amazing set of matryoshka dolls. You know the ones, right? They’re the nesting dolls that are as representative of Russia as St. Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow, Red Square, and alleged election interference. You can buy them in any souvenir shop in Russia, not to mention... Continue Reading →

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