Random Thoughts on Resolutions

In my younger, more innocent and naïve years, I sat down every New Year's Eve with a pen and a fresh sheet of paper. I then proceeded to do what most people do on this most angst-producing, stomach-churning, headache-inducing day: I wrote down my resolutions for the upcoming year. To lose weight (duh). To stop worrying... Continue Reading →

Spirited Encounter

I recently visited my parents' grave for the first time since we buried my mom. After the visit, I was lying in bed thinking about writing a blog post about that first visit. I fell asleep that night pondering my feelings about that visit and how I would present it in this blog. I did... Continue Reading →

Babies: To Have or Have Not

I’ve been surrounded by talk of babies lately. A couple readies themselves for the arrival of triplets. Another couple is in disagreement about whether to have a child. I am seated at a baby shower with two other women who talk of nothing but what their fully grown babies are doing. I listen attentively to... Continue Reading →

The Empty Chair

Recently we visited the assisted-living facility where my mother spent the last 15 months of her life. We went for an Alzheimer’s fundraiser in the form of a car show, and as we walked around for two hours, those 15 months reappeared as if by slight of hand, memory after memory leaning against vintage vehicles... Continue Reading →

Visit in My Mind

In my mind, I can see and feel it as clearly as my present reality of cursor blinking, coffee brewing, head pounding. We have driven for an hour and a half to get here. Bill makes the right turn onto their driveway and as we drive down the steep gravel, the garage door is already... Continue Reading →

Comparatively Sick

Thirteen days ago, Bill and I were on our way home from a 19-day adventure in Maine. We had stayed in three different spots along the coast of Maine, made a pilgrimage to L.L. Bean, and traveled up into the rugged wilderness of Moosehead Lake. The trip was beautiful as only Maine can be, and... Continue Reading →

Love Can Never Disappoint

The day I truly became an adult I was 51 years old, walking with crutches as a bulky, heavily Velcoed boot covered my left foot. I was sitting with my father in Room 206 of a nursing facility in Liberty, New York on an icy-cold January day. One generally thinks of adulthood as arriving with... Continue Reading →

My First Graveside Chat

I stride toward the stone with purpose. I have not been here in a while--fifteen months, to be exact--but now I'm on a mission. My husband and I both admire the stone--a simple monument that would have been met with approval by both parties. We wipe away some lawn clippings, then he leaves and I... Continue Reading →

On the Edge

I have been running through this wooded area for years. Ten years to be precise. It’s dark and frightening and the pain I feel is relentless. Yet I run. There is no one in front of me, no one behind me, no one beside me. No one. So I continue to run alone. Occasionally there... Continue Reading →

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