Day One and Already Lost

It’s day number one of my journey toward finding happiness through writing a blog and already I’m lost. I woke up before my alarm, which is amazing considering the ungodly hour the local country radio station was set to begin blaring in my right ear. But I also awoke nauseated, like I had been in the backseat of a car traveling over curvy country roads and needed to tell the driver to pull over before I vomited all over his leather seats. But this stomach distress, I suppose, is why I need to do this. It is just another example of how my emotions have turned me into an overweight, pain-filled mess.

You see, I was upset when I went to sleep last night. Bill didn’t understand why I was getting up extra early (not a creative soul, that Bill, but a mighty beautiful one) and I was nervous about beginning this thing. Oh, and I was frustrated because I can’t figure out how to remove a built-in image on WordPress. I was reading about it on website after website before I went to sleep and I still don’t get it. So this blog may look crappy until I figure this out.

Okay, back to me and my neuroses. This journey, this blogorama of my thoughts, is one of  necessity in so many ways. I struggle with weight, chronic neck pain and headaches, as well as depression and anxiety. This may seem like a great deal for one person, but apparently I have my dad’s broad shoulders for a reason. I am doing all I can personally and medically to deal with all of these situations—Weight Watchers, meds from the nice neurologist, meds from another caring soul—and still I am mired in pain, doubt, and fatness. Yes, fatness. I hereby christen that a word.

Right now, though, on day one, the only thing on my mind is finishing this post. My neck is seriously aching and the ginger ale has not improved my nausea. And so I will conclude this post and bid you farewell until tomorrow, when I hope to write something more substantive. Today I just need the feeling that I did this thing I promised myself I would: I arose early in the morning and I wrote. This, my friends, is indeed a positive start.