Kindness Matters

I’m not very kind to myself. Some would call that the understatement of the decade. Some would say it’s not true (although they don’t live inside my head). Those who know me best, however, would agree that I am consistently and relentlessly unkind to myself. I am working hard to change this unhealthy behavior, but... Continue Reading →

My Twelve Steps

The other day Bill asked me what goes on at a Weight Watchers meeting. I honestly believe he thought it was like an AA meeting, where I would stand up and say, “Hi, I’m Heidi, and I’m a brownieholic.” The entire group would then chime in and brightly say, “Hi, Heidi,” before I began telling... Continue Reading →


I am a dreamer. No, literally. I have incredibly vivid dreams with sights and sounds and strong emotions that are present long after I awake. I have the usual stress dreams that I think many people have in various versions. The one where I can’t remember my locker combination. The one where I’m running and... Continue Reading →

Fifty Shades of Beige

I grew up in a beige world. The walls were beige. Our furniture was beige. Most memorable of all, however, was that my mother wore beige. Like, all the time. Blouses, skirts (never pants), shoes. All beige. My mom grew up in Nazi Germany, where one did everything in one's power to blend in. I... Continue Reading →

Sew Me Up

I think I want a sewing machine. I realize this seems like a random thought and a rather weird desire, but it isn’t like I want a pet lemur or wish to quit my job and move to Germany. Buying a sewing machine is a perfectly rational item to want, but there is a reason... Continue Reading →

The Days of My Neck

This chronic pain demon is messing with me again. My diagnoses are messing with me again. Maybe life is just messing with me again. Yesterday I got a third round of trigger point injections in my neck. The first round actually seemed to alleviate my neck pain a bit. Like maybe 13.4%. But when you... Continue Reading →

You Like Me…or Do You?

From the time I have a recollection of rational thoughts as a human, I have been a people-pleaser. First with my parents, then with my friends, college buddies, work colleagues, and ultimately my extended family. It takes me an achingly long time to feel comfortable enough with someone to reveal my true self. This led... Continue Reading →

Quite the Puzzle

My husband Bill loves puzzles. I am sitting in his chair as I write this and I am surrounded by a books of Sudoku and KenKen. He does these puzzles as we watch TV at night, giving half of his attention to the plot of the series and half to the numbers that will complete... Continue Reading →

Comeback Tour

It seems my pain is making a comeback tour, only this time with a twist. It’s kind of like the ad I saw yesterday for the awesome Eagles on a new tour, but now Vince Gill is an Eagle. Huh? I guess it kind of makes sense, though. The Eagles needed a new voice and... Continue Reading →

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